Even though him and I are friends today, because I can learn to forgive, I still don’t deny the fact that he was a god damn douche! He knows it, I know it, and so did everyone else.
Has he changed 10 years later? Yes. The weird thing is, I am friends with his current girlfriend who he is attached to by the hip, so I often hear things from her. Four years ago I get a message from her out of the blue since she often heard her boyfriend talking about me, so I think she kind of felt a little bit weary of his and my friendship. But years later, her and I are still friends and that’s pretty damn cool!
Have I changed 10 years later? Hell YES! I am a much more stronger individual who grew a back bone.
I don’t want to get into all the horrible things he did to me, just know that no person should ever have to go through what I went through.
After dealing with his shit for 2 years, he dumped me and I was broken down to the lowest point of crap that you could possibly imagine. Took me a year to get over him, because I allowed him to pop in and out of my life any time he pleased, which screwed with my head and heart. After all, he was my first love and I was a naive, 22 year old door mat.
Then I met my husband and I actually started to put the ex and the past behind me. I dated others before him, but no one took my mind off of him completely. I was still apprehensive and wanted to take things slow because I figured I would get hurt again. It took me 6 months to even feel comfortable enough to do sexy time, and a year to say I love you. Even though things aren’t perfect, because no relationship is, he is there for me, and loves me unconditionally which I have never received from anyone else.
He’s been through similar things with his ex-wife, so I feel that is why we have such a deep connection. No one wants to be hurt, not he, not I, not you.
You might be thinking, “Wasn’t there any good at any point 10 years ago?” Not that I can really recall. It was a rough time for me. I was living with my grandparents, dating the douche, and my grandpa came down with colon cancer. Even though things were fine in my relationship (or at least I thought) things were not fine with family. My grandpa ended up passing not long after he was diagnosed since he never liked going to to the doctors for any sort of check up until my grandma made him when he couldn’t have a bowel movement.
So even though my 10 years ago is not exactly peachy, I have a much more appreciation for life, happiness, family, and most of all, love. If I didn’t experience all the things I had in the past, I wouldn’t be the strong-headed individual I am today, nor would I have met the most amazing guy on the planet that is my right-kind-of-crazy.
So thank you friend, (douche bag ex) you’ve made my life a little more complete!