I was saving up a post to talk about our new pregnancy, but after having my first prenatal visit at 11 weeks on Monday, we got unexpected and unfortunate news. Our babies heart beat could not be found on the sonogram, but she told us not to worry and that we’d try the transvaginal ultrasound, which unfortunately gave the same results. Now they were treating it as a serious matter and had me go do an ultrasound in the radiology department.
I was completely shocked and saddened to hear this news. In a way, almost guilty feeling because I’ve been feeling so sick with this one for the past 10 weeks and I haven’t felt too excited about it. Now I wished I had nausea, the bloat and the crazy bowel movements just so I know that my little one is alright.
Unfortunately, the ultrasound yielded the same results, and she showed us where the heart should be flickering. Baby measured at 10 weeks and I was 11.
You never really expect anything like this to happen to you after having a healthy first pregnancy, but miscarriages are so unpredictable that it happens to 1 in 5 people who are under 12 weeks pregnant, which I didn’t realize. That’s way too many. I feel for all who have gone through this.
Now I get to somehow mentally prepare myself for a D&C Friday afternoon since I can’t bare to sit and wait for my baby to come out naturally and see it. That would be too heartbreaking to deal with right now.
I am sad that we don’t get 2 babies to love on, but I am at least grateful for the one I do have. If I didn’t have her, I am sure I’d be going a little crazy right now.