Nothing can truly prepare you for the life-changing experience of having children. You will find that your world changes in a whole host of ways which you could never have imagined in the past. And while we can’t pretend to tell you everything right here, we can offer you a brief guide of some of the things which are worth knowing before you have a little one. Hopefully, at least some of the advice in this article will prepare you for the ups and downs which you have in store.
I was saving up a post to talk about our new pregnancy, but after having my first prenatal visit at 11 weeks on Monday, we got unexpected and unfortunate news. Our babies heart beat could not be found on the sonogram, but she told us not to worry and that we’d try the trans vaginal ultrasound, which unfortunately gave the same results. Now they were treating it as a serious matter and had me go do an ultrasound in the radiology department.
I was completely shocked and saddened to hear this news. In a way, almost guilty feeling because I’ve been feeling so sick with this one for the past 10 weeks and I haven’t felt too excited about it. Now I wished I had nausea, the bloat and the crazy bowel movements just so I know that my little one is alright.
Unfortunately, the ultrasound yielded the same results, and she showed us where the heart should be flickering. Baby measured at 10 weeks and I was 11.
You never really expect anything like this to happen to you after having a healthy first pregnancy, but miscarriages are so unpredictable that it happens to 1 in 4 people who are under 12 weeks pregnant, which I didn’t realize. That’s way too many. I feel for all who have gone through this.
Now I get to somehow mentally prepare myself for a D&C Friday afternoon since I can’t bare to sit and wait for my baby to come out naturally and see it. That would be too heartbreaking to deal with right now.
I am sad that we don’t get 2 babies to love on, but I am at least grateful for the one I do have. If I didn’t have her, I am sure I’d be going a little crazy right now.
If you want a little back story, here’s my first post on breastfeeding.
Although I was intent on making it work for as long as possible, that doesn’t mean I was thrilled or happy about it. I wanted to do what was best for baby, but this time around I think I want to do what is best for my mental health and well being and just enjoy the 2nd baby and my other child as much as possible.
I was tied to the couch pretty much 24/7 for the first 6 months either pumping or having my baby girl latched to the boob. There’s just no way possible that I am going to be able to do that with a now needy toddler running around.
I was also so angry at my husband for being able to do the things that I used to be able to do, like play video games, go out to bars for a drink or bite to eat with friends, concerts, etc. I just became permanently annoyed with him. I call it angry wife post partum. This wasn’t ALL the time, but it was frequent enough to bother me since I felt alone.
Breastfeeding is seriously one of the most stressful things I have done. Not just because I never had my boobs free, but the constant pain, the low supply issues and never getting a good nights rest. After she started eating solids steadily, it became better. I wasn’t always needing to constantly whip out the boob even though she would have prefered it. I could go to the store for an hour without having to find a place to sit down and feed her.
I know I shouldn’t have to explain my reasoning, but I know I will get “why’s?” since I breastfed my first for so long.
Those are my why’s, so please don’t judge. Yes, breast is best, but so is a happy, sane mother.
If I had it my way, I’d still cosleep, but since daddy keeps complaining and friends and family make comments about how I need to get her out of our bed or it’ll only get harder, I figured I’d give transitioning a try with our 15-month-old.
Since she’s too tall for her crib, I decided to order these foam bed bumpers for our old queen bed that’s currently in our daughter’s room so that I know she’s safe from falling off of the bed. They came all rolled up like a sleeping bag in a box. I unrolled them and let them expand to their intended shape for a couple of hours.
After they fluffed up, I stuck them under the sheets and showed her her new bed.
She loved the security feeling of the padded bumpers. She was so excited and happy to be in her new big bed.
So 9 pm rolls around and I breastfed her in her room, but she was too amped up to sleep and wouldn’t settle down until around 11:30 which I then had to give the feeding another try. This time she was tired and decided to stop fighting it, so after she passed out, I put her in her bed and I quietly turned on the baby monitor and went to bed in my own bed with my husband.
I was too worried to sleep though, not knowing if these bumpers would actually work since she often wakes up every 2 hours with us and sits up and falls back asleep in a random position and spot on the bed. I figured she’d sit up, and then plop over the side and onto the floor. luckily it isn’t a huge fall since we don’t have the box spring and mattress on a frame ATM, but still.
I’m waking up every 30 minutes to an hour and glancing over at the baby monitor and she’ll be in a different position a couple times, but she did not fully wake or make one peep until morning, and I had the monitor on full blast so I could hear the slightest sounds over our AC.
I was amazed because she had constantly been waking me up every 2-6 hours to breastfeed since birth besides the occasional few times of sleeping through the night.
Overall…
Getting her into her own bed to sleep was not difficult, as every kid and situation is different. The difficult task for us is going to be weaning, which I’ll try to do around the age of 2 since she’s showing no signs of giving it up yet.
Either way, this is what works for us and has been successful the past 4 nights. I’m thankful it’s been easy, now I can catch up on some much-needed sleep!
UPDATE:
Now that she’s a toddler and weaned from the breast, we lay down with her in her bed until she falls asleep. I don’t like sleeping by myself either, so this is what we do and has actually worked well with our child.
When did you transition your child to their own bed?
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What’s funny is that my husband kind of warned me about breastfeeding. Told me he needed to get my nipples prepared for what’s about to come, only because he dealt with it for a little while with his ex-wife but she gave up right away.
I didn’t even fathom the amount of pain, emotions, and frustration I would be going through once my little one arrived. I knew I wanted to breastfeed but didn’t think it would be this hard.
From the time she came out, she was ready to suckle on the breast. It’s kind of amazing how they know exactly what to do upon birth. The nurses were helping me with correct latching, but I never really got it down on my own while I was there in the hospital for 2 days. I needed a lactation specialist to come chat and show me what to do, which still wasn’t going well the first 4 days at home.
My milk had come in on the 3rd day in the evening which left my breasts hard and sore, my nipples were cracking, blistering and it made getting my little one to latch correctly difficult. She basically could only take the nipple even with me squeezing the end into a c shape like the doctor told me, so I finally said screw it and just let her have the nipple which only made things worse for me and I assume worse for her too.
And before my milk came in, I was an emotional wreck. She was acting lethargic, turning yellow which means jaundiced (she didn’t have it at the hospital) and I couldn’t get her to eat without falling asleep. She wasn’t getting hardly anything from me on day 1, 2 and 3. I finally told my husband that I couldn’t do this and sit there and watch her pretty much starve, so we supplemented with formula and she started acting normal again. I know most people say that this is not good when you want to breastfeed but it was what was best for us. In order to get jaundice out while my milk started to come in, we needed to supplement to get her to poop. She hadn’t pooped but once when we got home the first day and barely peed which means she was dehydrated. It was painful to watch that so please don’t judge.
It’s been 2 weeks now for breastfeeding and although I am getting the latch down somewhat, it’s still painful, only I don’t have the blisters or the cracking anymore because I’ve been religiously putting medela lanolin on them. On really sore days, I try to pump more to give them a break from intense suckling. I’ve read enough on breastfeeding to know that the pump is not going to get anywhere near the amount of milk I can produce out, but again, it’s what is working for me at this time. I just hope it begins to get better.
I honestly believe this is far worse than labor and birth.
Today I got about 2 ounces from both breasts which is the most I have gotten so far in these 2 weeks. She’s eating 2-3oz per feeding, so I hope I can continue to produce what she can eat. She’s been a miss piggy lately, but apparently, this is normal.
Wish me luck…
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