Although World Breastfeeding Week ends today, I wanted to hop on here and talk about my experience thus far as a breastfeeding mom. You can check out my previous post here and here when I first started and get a little back story.
If I knew then what I knew now, I think my story would be a little different. I feel like I was almost sabotaging myself with my breastfeeding journey as a new mom. But, I have also learned that what I was experiencing could have also been related to an overall bad latch and tongue tie since she would always make a clicking sound while latching. Arya’s jaundice level didn’t help either since she could never stay awake to feed which was hindering my milk supply and then I supplemented.
I know in my 2nd post, I talked about not wanting to breastfeed my 2nd since my first experience was traumatic for me, but I did it without supplementing. It still takes a lot of work but with Delilah, it was a breeze. She knew exactly what to do from the moment she arrived in the world. We had no latch issues, she didn’t have jaundice but it was still a bit painful those first 2 weeks as you get used to a little one suckling with immense force.
It takes a lot of dedication to be tied down without doing absolutely anything but feeding your precious little one. I resented it a lot but knew it was what was best for my little one so I sucked it up as best as I could and continued on. It got easier as she got older of course, but those first 6 months is nothing but you breastfeeding or pumping to keep your little one fed.
And if I wasn’t feeding Delilah, I was playing with Arya since I didn’t want her to feel neglected. It is stressful, but also rewarding since you powered through the pain, the tears, the stress, the anger and continued on.
I give myself props for being strong enough to do it because it’s not easy in the least bit.
And now, our breastfeeding journey is coming to a halt.
Delilah is 2 years and 2 months and is slowly starting to wean herself, which is fine by me because I feel like I am done. The funny thing is that she has now noticed that milk comes out of my boob when I squeeze it and is completely repulsed seeing it. She actually ran away from me when I did it and cried. Kids, they’re so funny.
And now that we’re almost done, I am hopeful that my postpartum anger will finally leave once my hormones go back to normal. Yes, postpartum anger is a real thing, mostly it’s a feeling of resentment with my husband and the overall stress of being a parent and learning how to cope with taking care of more than yourself.
If you need any tips as a first-time mom breastfeeding, I highly recommend checking out my 5 Things You’ll Need in Order to Be Successful With Breastfeeding Post.