You Might Catch Something at the Zoo NightClub in Vancouver, WA.

The only reason why I stepped into the Zoo Nightclub was because a friend was going here to celebrate her birthday. She frequents here quite a bit for the foam parties and I understand it could be fun during those nights, but on any other weekend night, it leaves little to be desired.

Friend getting a little foamy.

If your main goal for going to a bar/dance club is to pick up women/men, then you’ll probably score here. Everyone is a hot mess. You’ll find a wide variety of women and men to choose from, you got the fatties, the frumpy’s, the white trash, the cougars, the meat-heads, the ho’s who have baby daddies by 5 different men, and the ghetto fab. I felt awkward as soon as I stepped into this place because it was a Friday night and not very busy. Obviously everyone else thinks that there are better places to be as well. The women in this place made me shake my head a few times; you could just smell and see the desperation wreaking from their bad stripper pole dancing. Yes, there is a stripper pole in this place, and people are not afraid to use it. I don’t even want to come within 10 feet of it for fear of catching something from the left over slime trails being constantly grinded on this thing.

Also, there’s an old guy who has a professional camera that likes to photograph everyone dancing and then post it on their Facebook page to make it seem like this place is hopping on the weekends. At least he asked to take my photo and I respectfully declined because I don’t want to be linked to this place forever.

The service was fine, but one of the bartenders kept stiffing me, yea you, the guy with the grizzly Adam’s beard. He gave me small drinks and charged me the same price as the other girl at the other bar for a drink that was much bigger and much stronger and the best part was, it was the same damn cocktail. WTF? I came in with the $10 off $20 yelp deal and, although, had no issues using it, he never gave me the 1/2 off ladies night drink price that was valid until midnight.

Also, avoid the lady with the one stem roses that she has in her hand. They charge you $7 for one damn rose, you can practically get a dozen for that at the grocery store. Money grubbers.

I’d rather go to Portland and be ripped off there. I at least I had more fun at the barrel room.

if you found this post funny, cool, or useful, go give me a rating on yelp. πŸ™‚

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